a love letter to myself

A love letter to myself.

I just finished an incredible and potent 3 day self-portraiture masterclass with @cjust.

I wasn’t sure what these images were about when I took them, they were almost an afterthought. But when I look back at these I see such a sweet quiet intimacy and I realized they were a love letter to my inner shy girl.

To the little girl who wanted to read rather than play, who never could handle loud noises or bright lights or chaos.

To the grown shy girl who still prefers a night in with the cat or a coffee date with a friend over dances or concerts or parties. Who needs to spend an inordinate amount of time alone. Who is still, after all these decades of practice, socially awkward.

I’ve spent a good chunk of my life wishing I was more gregarious, charming, outgoing, a social butterfly. I drank to become her. And it worked. Until it didn’t.

And still a decade sober, much inner work done, I can still fall prey to these messages. Though most of the time, I’m happy to say, I am absolutely in love with my introverted shy girl who loves her sweet solitude.