a secret + a story
I have a secret to tell you. But first a story.
It was 2017. My husband and I were living with my mom in her house. The previous 3 years had been quite an upheaval.
2014. My live-in boyfriend at the time (now husband) was diagnosed with brain cancer.
2015. He underwent surgery, radiation, and chemo. We got married.
2016. Having received a clean(ish) bill of health and a limited timeline, my husband wanted to travel. We rid ourselves of most of our earthly possessions and embarked on what was supposed to be an around the world trip. We did four months in Africa and were called back to attend to paperwork. And honestly we needed the rest.
Which brings us back to 2017, living with mom, which had become clearly unsustainable for all 3 of us. We were at a crossroads. Our old life didn’t really fit. And we weren’t sure what was next.
There was a lot of soul searching. And my husband wasn’t much help. For the most part, I am the vision in our relationship. He is the executor. It was up to me to create the vision of this next chapter.
And what came to me, came as quite a surprise. I wanted a house.
Which may seem super obvious to most folks, but for this little unconventional Aquarian who had spent her entire life avoiding the 9 to 5, not wanting children, and rejecting a whole host of society’s norms, wanting a house felt so … conventional.
Also. It felt so audacious. A full time yoga teacher, whose husband was now disabled, living in the Bay Area. A house, even a condo or a townhouse, was a pipe dream.
And here’s where I tell you the secret.
Everything in my life shifted in that moment. Everything I have now, this beautiful, abundant life of my dreams is happening because:
I allowed myself to want what I wanted.
Even though it’s not what I thought I should want. Even though it felt crazy and audacious and impossible.
I wanted roots. Sanctuary. A home to settle into, where I wouldn’t have to move every year when the rent raised. Where I could decorate and create a vibe and surround myself with the things I wanted to be surrounded with. I wanted a spot that was all our own.
And I trusted that wanting. And I moved toward it.
It was 2017. My husband and I were living with my mom in her house. The previous 3 years had been quite an upheaval.
2014. My live-in boyfriend at the time (now husband) was diagnosed with brain cancer.
2015. He underwent surgery, radiation, and chemo. We got married.
2016. Having received a clean(ish) bill of health and a limited timeline, my husband wanted to travel. We rid ourselves of most of our earthly possessions and embarked on what was supposed to be an around the world trip. We did four months in Africa and were called back to attend to paperwork. And honestly we needed the rest.
Which brings us back to 2017, living with mom, which had become clearly unsustainable for all 3 of us. We were at a crossroads. Our old life didn’t really fit. And we weren’t sure what was next.
There was a lot of soul searching. And my husband wasn’t much help. For the most part, I am the vision in our relationship. He is the executor. It was up to me to create the vision of this next chapter.
And what came to me, came as quite a surprise. I wanted a house.
Which may seem super obvious to most folks, but for this little unconventional Aquarian who had spent her entire life avoiding the 9 to 5, not wanting children, and rejecting a whole host of society’s norms, wanting a house felt so … conventional.
Also. It felt so audacious. A full time yoga teacher, whose husband was now disabled, living in the Bay Area. A house, even a condo or a townhouse, was a pipe dream.
And here’s where I tell you the secret.
Everything in my life shifted in that moment. Everything I have now, this beautiful, abundant life of my dreams is happening because:
I allowed myself to want what I wanted.
Even though it’s not what I thought I should want. Even though it felt crazy and audacious and impossible.
I wanted roots. Sanctuary. A home to settle into, where I wouldn’t have to move every year when the rent raised. Where I could decorate and create a vibe and surround myself with the things I wanted to be surrounded with. I wanted a spot that was all our own.
And I trusted that wanting. And I moved toward it.