there's the thing. and then there's the something better.

Remember that thing I was trying to manifest during the Lion’s Gate portal? That thing I was so very excited about + wanted so badly because I saw the vision so clearly?

That thing didn’t happen.

And I know, I know, we’re not supposed to get that attached to the thing. It’s not spiritual or whatever. But it’s just how I roll. And actually, I like that about myself.

I am someone who for years held back from what I really wanted. Not believing I could actually have it. Not believing I deserved it. So now, after doing mountains of self work, when I know what I want, I go for it. And I love my over the top excitement + enthusiasm.

And I know the risk. The risk is monumental disappointment when it doesn’t go your way. And I willingly + knowingly accept that risk.

And *usually* I can almost immediately silver lining my way out of that disappointment. It wasn’t meant to be. Rejection is divine protection. It’s actually better this way. Etc, etc.

But, I gotta admit, this one stung. This one lingered. Because not only did the thing not happen, but I felt so sure that all the signs (and I do mean ALL. THE. SIGNS.) were there that it was absolutely meant to be. Written in the stars.

And when it didn’t happen, I was kind of lost. Like, why was the vision placed so clearly in me if it wasn’t meant to be? And how did I so badly misinterpret the signs? Are you meaning to tell me, universe, that the pale yellow butterfly that I thought was the spirit of my mom and my guides, was just some random pale yellow butterfly flitting about for its own amusement and not at all about me? Is this what you’re saying?

Anyhoo, I kept reminding myself of the ᴛʜɪs ᴏʀ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ. And if it’s not the ᴛʜɪs, it must be the sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ.

And I tried to trust in this, but honestly, I couldn’t imagine sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ than ᴛʜɪs.

And then.

We met the sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ.

And it’s happening!!!

(And there was a whole middle chapter where we tried to make a thing that was good on paper into the sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, but the feel was just off somehow).

But we won’t focus on that now.

For now, we’ll just leave it at the sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ is happening and I am over the moon thrilled.