to be seen

Ok so I realized a thing about my creative practice this last week and it’s kinda blown my mind.

I shared with you a week or two ago that my soul was calling for more creative play, to return to mediums that I’ve long been drawn to and dabbled in, but haven’t managed (yet) to sustain a consistent rhythm with. Collage. Textiles. Mixed media.

And that my perfectionism, my not being good at it yet, my wondering if it was just a waste of time had been holding me back for far too long.

Ok so here’s what I realized. My mind kept going to this one place, and it’s no surprise having been steeped in capitalism all my life and having monetized one creative passion of mine. My mind kept thinking nobody’s ever gonna want to buy this other stuff.

And I felt bad for thinking this because obviously that’s not the point. Some creative pursuits can just be for us. For our own pleasure and fulfillment. Satisfaction in the creative act. Why wasn’t that enough for me?

And as I sat with this, I had a little epiphany.

I don’t want it to be salable. I want it to be seen.

There is something about creation that doesn’t feel complete for me unless it is witnessed.

Not every shitty first draft of course. But a few works here and there.

Not by a huge audience necessarily. But at least by a select few.

This has been a freeing revelation. I don’t need to make other work good enough to sell. I just need to make work good enough to be shared.

So I may share some of it here from time to time. And thank goddess for my creative communities.

The @rayoflightcommunity has held me in all my explorations for years now.

And @hannahmarcotti’s Vision Spells is holding me now.

What a gift to witness and be witnessed in such supportive containers.